


Wisdom

by Kingshammer



Series: The Lioness and Her Cubs [3]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Alanna as mom because I think she did the best she could, Canon Compliant, Conversations, Daughters, Existential Angst, Family, and even when they're not perfect most moms do the best they can for as long as they can, i think, mothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 01:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13753305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingshammer/pseuds/Kingshammer
Summary: Alanna the Lioness shares a quiet conversation with thirteen year old Aly.





	Wisdom

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!
> 
> So, I read (listened) to Tempests and Slaughter (which I thoroughly enjoyed), and got to thinking of Tortall. Alanna and Aly are some of my favorites. I like to think that there were good, clear moments like this one between them while Aly was growing up.
> 
> This is set while Aly is thirteen and so prior to the war with Scanra. The Alanna in my mind would be more patient and less stressed in peace time and I like to think that Aly would've sought comfort in her mother (even if they had a trying relationship as she got older).
> 
> At any rate, this is pretty much an extended drabble. I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> (please note, this has only been edited by me at this point, so please forgive any mistakes)

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

Aly sat on the edge of the practice yard. Her legs were drawn up and her arms were wrapped around them, chin resting her knees. At a glance, the expression she wore was one of boredom. Anyone who knew her better or took more than a moment to pay attention would realize that she was gloomy and sullen.

 

An all around inappropriate expression for such a sunshine filled, cool day in Corus.

 

Pages and squires alike gave her wide berth.  Not many knew the thirteen-year-old Alianne of Pirate's Swoop personally, but they knew her mother. And they erred on the side of caution when anyone related to Alanna looked so uninviting.

 

Which is precisely why, when Alanna entered the training yard herself, she made a casually paced beeline for her daughter.

 

The pages taking their first lessons in staff work repeated their swings.

 

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

_Thwack_

Hard wooden staves struck the wooden practice dummies relentlessly.

 

Alanna sat next to her daughter on the practice yard ground. She sat so that her knees were pulled up, but not crossed. She rested her forearms on her knees. If she noticed any of the stares she received from pages and squires in awe of her presence, she gave no acknowledgement. She did, however, smirk knowingly when the training masters yelled their indignation at any variances in pace or attention.

 

"It's not too late to join them you know," she said mildly. She caught Aly's scowl out the corner of her eye and smiled.

 

"I don't want to be a knight," grumbled the young girl.

 

"I know my darling. Although you spend plenty of time at the practice yards," she stated matter-of-factly.

 

"Well of course I do Ma," replied Aly, every bit the impetuous thirteen-year-old, "I don't want to be useless, even if I don't want to be a knight." Alanna laughed shortly at this.

 

"My dear, there are things in between skilled fighter and useless, not that I’m not pleased with your chosen past time. What were you working on today?" Asked the knight.

 

"Archery. It's the easiest for...well, archery," she said firmly. Her chin was set stubbornly.

 

"It's a shame your Aunt Daine is away on business, you're getting strong enough for some of the trick shooting," said Alanna. Aly still stared out at the practicing pages. "Though, I get the feeling that archery might not have been your first choice if you could've helped it." Aly sighed, scuffing her foot against the ground.

 

“I know I’m _allowed_ to train around here. But it doesn’t feel like I _belong_ here,” muttered Aly. There was a deep sorrow that had no place in the young girl’s voice.

 

“Did someone say something?” asked Alanna gently, guessing at the appeal of the isolated nature of archery practice.

 

“Some page muttered something, but directly not to me. I think he wanted me to hear though. Something about pretending at the yards and taking up space,” said Aly quietly. Anger flared quickly in Alanna’s heart, bursting outward until she felt it tingle in her finger tips. She waited until the worst of it had passed before she spoke, not wanting her daughter to believe the anger was directed at her.

 

“Do you think he’s right?” asked Alanna tightly, the best she could manage. Because she wanted to do was drag this page around the practice yard by his ears and teach him a lesson in manners.

 

But she wouldn’t. Because Aly had to learn how to maneuver the difficulties of her own world. She would not coddle her child, she would not tell Aly she was worth ten of some nameless, insolent page. Aly had to see that she was for herself.

 

“Sometimes,” started Aly, “I know he’s not really right. I’m as good as any of these _boys_ in at fighting,” she sneered slightly, still bitter. Alanna smiled but stayed silent.

 

“I know lots. From Da, from Grandda, and Their Majesties and Aunt Daine and Uncle Numair, and you. And not just about fighting. I know about history, and spying, and codes, and strategy, and tactics, and court,” said Aly slowly, as though she was reasoning things out for herself out loud.

 

“But?” prompted Alanna after some more silence. Aly let out a player’s sigh, drawn out and dramatic.

 

“I just don’t know where I’m _going_ ,” Aly finally admitted.

 

“And what, daughter-mine, do reckon that means for you just now?”

 

“Alan wanted to be a knight. Thom a sorcerer. They’ve always known. And everyone else seems to have their place Ma,” Aly was whining grumpily now, taking full advantage of Alanna’s rare and undivided attention.

 

“Everyone. You and Da, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents. Everyone. They just belong. And Alan and Thom never seems to question where they’re going. But when I think of _any_ of my possibilities, none of them feel like they fit,” said Aly, feeling at last as though she was getting to the heart of what was troubling her heart.

 

“What if I never find what fits?” she asks her mother quietly, voice and chin wobbling. Alanna wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders, pulling her in close. She cherished moments like this, when she was the one who could love and reassure her children, because they were hers. Her heart full to bursting with sympathy and love for her daughter, Alanna knew that nothing she’d ever held – not the Dominion Jewel, not Lightning, her shield, not even quite her husband (although only by the slimmest of margins) – was a precious as being able to hold her children.

 

“It sounds, my dear, as though you’re worried because you haven’t yet found your path,” said Alanna measuredly. She felt Aly nod against her chest.

 

“There are no easy answers to finding your way love. I knew I wanted to be a knight when I was young, but the road itself was _nothing_ like I’d anticipated. Sometimes your way finds you easily. Sometimes it takes time. Look at Thayet. She was a woman grown already when I met her in Sarain. She was so sure that she’d settle into a quiet life in Corus, away from court and its politics. But she was meant for more, and we’re all the better for it. Your Da, gods bless his crooked heart, didn’t fall into his particular line of work until years after being The Rogue,” replied Alanna thoughtfully. She could go on for ages in this vein of thought.

 

“But there was a need for all of them,” replied Aly stubbornly. “His Majesty was born royal, he needed a queen. He needed a champion, and a better spymaster. Tortall had no great mage or wild mage before Uncle Numair and Aunt Daine. It’s like you’ve all already taken all the _useful_ jobs,” said Aly dejected. Alanna squeezed Aly’s shoulders.

 

“Well then that leaves you in a particularly exciting position doesn’t it?” said the knight with a warm smile. Aly glanced up at her sharply, pulling away slightly, incredulity wrinkling her young face.

 

“Don’t look at me like that youngling, it’s the truth. We’ve filled all the obvious rolls at present, sure. But that won’t be forever. I won’t always be champion you know,” said Alanna. This statement of fact startled Aly more than she would ever admit. Because her mother was the _Lioness._ She was the best anywhere. A reality where this wasn’t true was too much for Aly.

 

“So, as you so charmingly, if somewhat inaccurately, put it, there are no needed roles at present, or at least none you feel you fit into. What does that mean you have to do?” asked Alanna, posing the question to make Aly think.

 

“Loaf about?” asked Aly straight-faced. Alanna let out a bark of laughter more suited to a soldier in a barrack than a noblewoman.

 

“Not in the least. It means you must make your own way, love. You’re disadvantaged child. Too many that love you and have had a hand in raising you have incurable senses of responsibility. It’s rubbed off on you. You may not find your way; you may have to pave it yourself. You’ll never be content in just loafing about. And making your own way is hard work,” said Alanna with a smile. Aly groaned slightly.

 

“Isn’t it always,” muttered the teenager.

 

“It’s worth it Aly. Once you figure it out, don’t let anyone deter you from it. I won’t…you and I, we won’t always, agreed on things, per say,” said Alanna carefully. Because it was true- some of Alanna’s bitterest battles to date had been with her headstrong daughter.

 

“But I’ll always love you. I believe you will do great things because I believe you won’t be able to help yourself. No matter what I might seem like, know that I will always want you to be better than me. A better woman, a better mother, a better…whatever it is you chose,” said Alanna quietly. Aly was quiet for a time, contemplating her mother’s words.

 

Finally, she turned green-hazel eyes, eyes that Alanna loved, up to Alanna’s violet ones.

 

“I love you Ma,” said the girl with a warm smile.

 

“And I love you. Always,” replied Alanna.

 

“Will you work some sword with me?” asked Aly standing up. Alanna followed suit, straightening her back with a few pops, hiding her bemusement that Aly was about her height.

 

“I’d be insulted if you asked any of these others,” said the Lioness.

 

And the pair reentered the training courts together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read. Get your hands on the new Tortall book if you haven't!


End file.
